A New Outlook
by emzypemzy
Summary: Sequel to my story "Worst Possible Day"...this takes us forward a little bit and goes with one of the ways it could go...
1. Chapter 1

**_Part 1 (of 2) of a sequel to my one-shot "Worst Possible Day" although you don't really need to read that first. _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own CM._**

Penelope Garcia still remembered everything about that day. It was one of those experiences some good some bad – in this case bad, terrible, catastrophic – that stuck with you for years to come. One of those days when everything changed and you realised with blinding clarity that you were with the wrong person, doing the wrong job, fighting for the wrong cause. It had been when she finally realised that Kevin Lynch could not replace Derek Morgan in her heart no matter how hard he tried to or how hard she tried to convince herself.

It was also the day she realised that she was too late. Derek Morgan was with someone, the archetypical playboy was with someone and it was more serious than his usual flings of fancy. Laying eyes on the pair for only a few seconds she had seen the intimacy and known that she could not and would not be the one to destroy his first attempt at a _real_ relationship in years and possibly destroy their friendship in the process if he didn't see her in the same way.

It had crushed her to pretend nothing had been going on and for a while she had had to pull out all the stops, acting like everything was only a little bit off kilter because her and Lynch weren't together, not because her heart was broken by her best friend. The profilers in her friends knew something wasn't quite right but she could be a damn good actress when she tried and this was one of those times. She did not flinch when he mentioned his girlfriend by name, did not run away from team nights out for fear of seeing them together, instead going knowing they would be there and steeling herself for it. And she paid for it, her mask did not slip but her heart continued to break into smaller and smaller pieces until she hit rock bottom.

She had never thought she would ever reach this point before. Her outlook on life and her belief in all things good never allowed her to even contemplate it. She wasn't naive, she knew she would not always be happy but this feeling off utter helplessness and complete desolation was not one the lost chance of loving Derek Morgan. She had his friendship, loyalty and his own version of love for her, and she had more than some women could ever imagine. She may not be with the man she loved but she was his best friend. And although it still stung she knew she'd rather have that and him in her life, blessing her life with his kindness and need to protect rather than live without him wondering how he was and what he was doing. She picked herself from the worst place in her life, dusted her bruised ego and prepared herself for just another day at the office.

But that morning she pulled out her killer heels, slipped into her red and purple patterned dress, left her hair in loose curls with one of her butterfly slides holding it to the side and slicked her ruby red lipstick over her lips, smiling at her reflection as she put on her red framed glasses and her ensemble of jewellery. Today this was not all for show, today this was her. She was back.

She truly smiled more that morning than she had in the last few months. She knew she still loved Morgan and she knew it would still hurt to see him with...Paula...but she refused to let it be what ruled her mood, her behaviour, her life. She was officially in charge again and she couldn't be happier.

Walking into the BAU she threw a playful smile at the security guard, smiling at his somewhat bashful reaction before turning swiftly on her heel, bag flung over her shoulder once more as she strutted along the corridor.

When walking by the bull pen she caught Morgan's eye and winked at him, laughing slightly as he smiled at her with that Derek Morgan smile that caused those butterflies in her stomach to flutter once more. But she didn't stop, just kept on towards her office and began to work knowing that at some point that day she would be paid a visit by the Girls.

"Garcia?" JJ asked as her and Emily peered into the depths of her office.

"You want something sweet peas?" Came a voice from behind them and they both jumped slightly. She chuckled at their reactions and headed past them into her office. "So what can I do for you my girlies?"

"Don't take this the wrong way but, what happened?"

She just shrugged and smiled, " I realised I have it a lot better than most and I have him as my _best friend_ and that me hiding behind a mask and acting my butt off wasn't helping me. I don't want love, or lack-there-of to rule my life. I'm in charge one hundred percent again, and do you know what? I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. You know me: girl power and all that, this should have been my first thought. But here we are now, and only time will tell just how much better or worse this'll be. But I know that I want to try, that I want to have fun."

The two looked at her in awe of the true Garcia logic, smiles stretching across their faces as they realised that their friend was back. Well and truly back.

"Well then, Miss I-have-a-new-lease-on-life we're going out tonight." JJ said indicating the three of them. "Hit the town, have some drinks, laugh at pick up lines we get fired at us, dance and celebrate, because this is great Pen." She said with feeling.

"Really great." Emily echoed, the same strength to her voice. "So you better make sure you bring that camera of yours and we'll make us some memories, eh?"

"Sounds like a plan my darlings." She replied, looking forward to it already. "Now shoo, Genius needs peace to work." She said with a chuckle.

As they left they shared a look and a smile, both so glad that Penelope Garcia was back and she was not holding anything back any longer. They knew that they both wished she had told Morgan, but what she said now made sense: she had him as her best friend, it was the next best thing she could ever hope for and no matter what happened they'd still have their connection that way. They were envious of her bravery; she was going to be strong through him and Paula all the while she was in love with him. But if they were honest she'd been a little bit in love with him since the very beginning. They thought it was reciprocated too, but they would stay out of it. It wasn't their place, they had their friend back in full force and that was all that mattered. They'd work on her love life later, right now it'd still be too raw.

She heard the distinctive 'Morgan knock' and her heart fluttered slightly before she got it under control.

"Good afternoon Handsome." She said with a smile as she spun around on her chair to see him.

"Well good afternoon to you too, someone is very happy today." He observed with a smile of his own and she understood what he hadn't said: that he had noticed she hadn't been quite herself for the last while.

"Is there a problem with a girl being happy Agent Morgan?" She asked with a teasing grin.

"Not at all, not at all." He replied with a shake of his head. "It's good to see." He said almost softly and she had to change the conversation quickly before this went somewhere she wasn't ready to go yet.

"What can I get for you Hot Stuff?" She asked, spinning back around and poising her fingers over her keyboard at the ready. He relayed a list to her and she complied before shoo-ing him out much like she had done to the girls earlier. He left with a smile on his face at her banter and she sighed. That hadn't been that bad, in fact it had been a lot easier on her heart than when she was forcing herself not to think about it. This new perspective was definitely working for her.

The night out with the girls was just what she needed: chatting, laughter, dancing, jokes and cocktails. Definitely the best they'd had in a long time as the reconnected and all allowed themselves to be completely themselves. They went back to their High School Days, taking hundreds of photos, most under the influence of many margaritas, and they pulled out the old songs, requesting them from the owner so that they could break out their teenage dance moves, surrendering to their inner teen and laughing hysterically at each others' moves and music taste.

They all left, slightly buzzed off of the alcohol but apart from that and sore cheeks from smiling so much they remained unscathed. It had been the best night out they'd all had in a long time and they promised it would become a much more regular thing.

**_Part 2 coming a.s.a.p. _**


	2. Chapter 2

_**And now we have Part 2....**_

The weekend went by in a blur. Garcia spent it spring cleaning her whole flat, rocking it out to her favourite CDs as she restocked her fridge, hoovered, dusted and rearranged some of her nick nacks, finding places for some of the new pictures they had printed off as well as ones of the team she had hidden because they hurt too much before, but now although there was still a twinge it was only a twinge and she knew that it wouldn't go away. But she could live with that.

She cleared out her wardrobe, pulling out her old and unwanted clothes before taking her scissors to them and getting out her trusted sewing machine to make something new that she would wear. She was feeling creative and by the time Monday came around she was even more of herself.

Monday morning was upon her and before she knew it, her first full week of her new outlook was under her belt. The week had progressed her further into her new way of thinking and after a couple of phone conversations with Morgan that she had come off of with a smile and a lot more positive outlook, they were becoming closer again, back to where they used to be, to that bond they usually shared, and although it still hurt to know he wouldn't be hers she was elated that they could be back to what they once were. She couldn't be with him so his best friend was the next best thing, and in a sense she knew they were a little more than that really. And that she was more than happy with. If he needed her she'd be there, no matter what and no matter when and she knew it would be the same for him. And she was happy that they were going to get that back no matter how much she knew it would still hurt to see him with Paula.

---

After the first case her outlook was still remaining strong and when the team was all going out for drinks she was more than willing, ready for a night with her friends, her family. But she'd be lying if she said that her heart didn't constrict when she found out Paula would be there, and Morgan had enthused that he couldn't wait for his 'two favourite girls' to meet at last. JJ and Emily had looked at her and she knew they caught the slight frisson of nervousness and trepidation that had crossed her eyes. They gave her reassuring smiles as Morgan hugged her quickly and left to go pick Paula up.

She reminded herself that she was his friend and she would not be replaced by a girl friend, no matter what. Morgan was a good man; he would not abandon his friends, and certainly not his best friend. When they reached the bar she headed straight to the bathroom and Emily followed watching with a smile as she applied another coat of her lipstick and slightly fixed her hair before turning to Emily with a smile.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Emily replied all the while smiling just as largely as Garcia.

"Good." She said with a nod.

"You ready?" Emily asked softly knowing Pen had to be a little nervous.

"Yeah." She replied taking a deep breath before continuing to the door. "Let's do this."

They walked out and Emily was glad that she had gone with her, glad that Garcia hadn't walked out on this scene by herself, as much as her new outlook was doing her wonders and was working wonders Emily knew the hurt was still there, just not the main focus of her life any longer. The scene they walked out on was one that she knew had to be crushing her: the whole team sitting around a table, but what had got to be causing her heart to clench was Morgan standing with his back to them and his arm around a tall slim woman in stylish clothes.

Garcia stilled slightly before shaking her hair out, holding her head high and continuing forward. When Morgan glanced over his shoulder and saw them he spun himself around and Paula turned with him, turning to see what had caused him to move. He smiled at Pen, one of those Derek Morgan grins and despite the hurt that had pierced at her heart she couldn't help the butterflies that fluttered every time he did so and her lips were pulled into a smile that was reserved only for him. She walked towards them with a confidence in her step that she didn't truly feel her eyes focused on Morgan and his sparkling eyes.

When they reached them her eyes flitted to the woman on his arm and she had to admit that she was gorgeous, but she was with Morgan, what else was to be expected. She met her eyes with a smile as Morgan introduced them.

"Pen, this is Paula. Paula this is Penelope Garcia."

"Nice to meet you." Pen said with a smile as she extended her hand to shake the other woman's with no trace of the true nervousness she was feeling and the jealousy she was trying to squash.

"And you. I've heard a lot about you." Paula replied with a smile, shaking her hand amicably.

Emily and JJ came to her rescue by asking about Paula's work and Garcia was so thankful for the respite. From the flaring of jealousy she had felt at just the sight of the two, she knew she was going to have to hold her new outlook strongly in place. Her first step was to get a round of drinks in, relax everyone and then well, and then she was going to pretend like this was just another girls' night out and dance her socks off, that way she'd spend less time at the table where she'd have to make small talk.

She stuck to her plan, chatting casually while they all had a few drinks, laughing with Morgan, and even chatting to Paula like it was the easiest thing in the world to do before hitting the dance floor with Emily and JJ, laughing, joking and dancing like they had on their night out: smiling, posing and doing all sorts of crazy moves. Morgan and Paula were sat at the table, Paula talking to Reid and Hotch about her work while Morgan watched the girls letting loose on the dance floor, a small grin forming as he watched them break out their 'best' moves. He excused himself, smiling down at Paula as he got up from the table and danced his way to the girls, laughing at their fake swooning as he shook his hips on the way before joining them in the dancing. They spent the next few songs shaking their bodies to the beat and laughing at all the ridiculous moves and Morgan was surrounded by the three as they urged him on in his own set of ridiculous moves and he couldn't not smile and laugh as they danced around him and encourage his silliness. Garcia was in her element, he noticed that, she was dancing, laughing and smiling the most he had seen her do in a long time and he found himself smiling along with her, dancing alongside her and not caring what he looked like when doing his crazy moves if it was making her laugh and smile. He hadn't seen it in a while and he missed it, but she was back in full force now, that he knew, and he knew that he definitely wanted her to stay this way.

They all danced back to the table and collapsed in their seats, laughing and slightly out of breath, glad when another round of drinks was set down in front of them. Paula joined the rest of the team in making fun of the ridiculous moves and Morgan's arm snaked around her waist as they sat. It didn't go unnoticed by Garcia who took another swallow of her drink and turned to talk to Reid, effectively blocking the happy couple from her vision.

After a few more drinks Hotch was on the dance floor with JJ and Emily and Rossi and Reid were contemplating joining them regardless of their usual preoccupations when Garcia announced that she loved this song and, grabbing Reid by the arm, made her way to the dance floor with a spring in her step and the slight wobble of one who's wearing very high heels and who's on the cusp of having had one too many. But she could hold her liquor; she still had control of her faculties.

Morgan watched as she danced her way across the floor with Reid, pulling the somewhat startled genius with her as she went. He chuckled slightly at the sight before him and offered his hand to Paula, leading her out to dance.

Garcia watched from her view point as the two danced somewhat awkwardly at first before a reassuring hand was placed on her hip and the uncertainty was gone replaced by the usual images that assault Garcia's eyes as he danced with a gorgeous woman wrapping herself around him. She wanted nothing more than to break it up, to cut in and stop them from doing what they were doing, it was cutting at her heart.

JJ and Emily noticed what was going on and silently pulled Pen towards them, making it so that the couple were no longer even in her peripheral vision. The group danced and cheered as each song merged into the next and when she noticed the couple sit back down and she relaxed a little more once again, just enjoying the music and trying to keep them from her mind. However when Hotch spun her around she saw Morgan lean right in as if going for a kiss and she knew she needed another drink.

"Yeah that's Pen for you, always making us smile." He said, leaning in so that Paula would be able to hear his answer to her question about the dancing that they had been doing earlier. It was then that he clocked Garcia at the bar and headed over to buy her a drink, and maybe steal another silly dance off of her before him and Paula headed.

"How about another one of those dances Baby Girl?" Came Morgan's voice in her ear. "Get a drink after, come dance with us first." She looked up at him as if to ask why and he looked down at her with those eyes, saying: "I'm going to head shortly, wanna get another dance in."

She knew he meant that he and Paula were leaving together but with those puppy dog eyes she couldn't say no and she forgot all about his girlfriend for a second. And it was long enough for her to agree and hop off the bar stool ready to dance with her _best friend_. She ignored every niggling thought in her head, every little worry, every little uncertainty and let go, completely trusting herself and her instincts and letting the alcohol in her system loosen her up just that little bit further as they danced to the music. JJ and Reid came dancing up beside them and they all danced to the songs, belting out the words as they did so and laughing as Reid began to robot before they all joined in, laughing hysterically once the song ended. When the next one began JJ and Reid went to sit back down while the two continued to dance, laughing at the silly faces they were both pulling and Garcia wished she'd brought her camera; there were far too many gorgeously cute faces to remember. But then she pushed that thought to the back of her mind: he was her best friend and she didn't need to think about that right now.

---

Lying in her bed that night, Garcia could feel the residual effects of the alcohol carry her off into sleep, the last thoughts on her mind how great a night it had been and her last image of Derek Morgan smiling as they danced.

When she woke up the next day she knew that she had most likely just taken herself back a few steps in her process, now she had that little treacherous voice from her heart trying to give her hope, trying to break through her new mind set and crush it back to the ground. She knew that this was not going to help her, he was with Paula, and he was _happy_. She knew she wouldn't stand a chance and even if she did she wouldn't do that to him or to Paula, she wasn't that kind of person.

She hauled herself out of bed and thought over last night, recalling just how much fun she had had with them all, realising that she had had a brilliant time and Paula had been there, her new mind set had definitely worked in her favour; allowing her to have a great time with both the team as a whole and Morgan alone without her heart breaking. She smiled, glad that things were looking up, that she had been able to quash the jealousy and just have a great night. She hadn't had as good night with the whole team in a while.

She headed to the kitchen to make her first cup of coffee of the day, her eye catching on the blinking light of the answering machine as she passed. Pushing the button to listen she waited as the machine kicked in;

"_Hi....uh....Garcia...I know it's late, but ehh...if you get this will you give me a call? I just.... need to talk to someone...I, yeah, give me a call." _

Morgan's voice sounded in her hall and instantly she began to worry at the tone of his voice, at the obvious distress and when the time of message was 03:14am she bit her lip in worry, what had happened? Was he ok? Was his family ok? Where was he now?

She picked up the phone straight away, hitting his speed dial and waiting for an answer, praying for an answer; wanting to know if he was ok.

_**This'll have 3 parts it seems...only just got my muse back...here's hoping it stays!! **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Part 3...**_

As the phone rang in her ear she waited with baited breath for him to answer, she had to know what was going on. Nothing else mattered at that moment, her feelings didn't even factor into it, he was her friend and he had sounded so wounded, and she knew what he was like when he sounded like that. It wasn't good.

"Morgan? Morgan, what's going on? I am so sorry that I didn't get your message...are you ok? What's-"

"I'm fine Pen." Came his voice in her ear. "I just needed someone to talk to."

"Morgan what happened?" She asked softly.

"My-" He starts. "My," he tries again after a shaky breath.

"Morgan." She implores softly, hating the distress that is obvious in his voice.

"My sister was in an accident!" He rushes out in one breath, so fast that she wasn't she had heard him correctly.

"Morgan, where are you?" She demands suddenly, not wanting him to be alone when he's obviously eating himself up with worry.

"About." He says, avoiding giving her an answer.

"Morgan..." She warned, not liking his evasiveness. "Where are you?" She repeated, her voice softer this time.

"Walking." He says in reply and she's both frustrated and pleased at the little extra information he has given voluntarily.

"Morgan is she ok?" She asks softly, and hears a sound that sounds almost like a sob – by god he was almost crying.

"She's in surgery, and I can't get to her because I live so damn far away!" He ground out. "And all the planes out of here are fully booked and even my FBI badge refuses to give me an leeway because it hasn't been 'approved'!"

"Morgan, come here. Now. I want you to flag down a taxi right now and come here."

"No. I need to be alone, I'm better alone, I need to fix this."

"Morgan, sweetness, you _cannot_ fix this by walking there." She said softly guessing at what he was doing in his desperation and with alcohol in his blood stream. At least he'd thought about that, she didn't dare think what could have happened if he hadn't.

"No. I'm fine here. I'll be fine. I can do this myself." He said, his anger and frustration at the situation bubbling over to her. But she shrugged it off, he was in a bad situation, he was trying to cope.

"Morgan, I am not above tracing you by the GPS in your phone." She threatened.

He relented knowing that she could find him in ten seconds with only one finger. "Ok, ok, Pen I'll come to you. I'll get a cab." It was then he realised that he could get a cab to take him all the way to his sister.

"Derek Morgan. Don't you _dare_ think about getting that cab to take you to your sister, you will bring that sweet tush here and I will get you on the next flight and you will get there before next week!" She said, interpreting his silence for exactly what it was.

"Ok." He said softly, knowing that what she was proposing made so much more sense. "I'll be soon."

---

She opened the door an hour or so later to a broken looking Derek and immediately enveloped him in a hug, her heart breaking for him. With every time she saw him smile breaking a piece off of her heart and with every time he was hurting breaking an equal part off she feared that if her heart broke any more she would have nothing left.

But he needed her. Or he needed _someone_. She just happened to be there.

"I've already booked that flight." She said as he clung to her and she was sure he was trying to keep it together. "It leaves at 11:15pm, I'm just sorry I couldn't get you on one any earlier, although it is only two hours away."

"Thank you Baby Girl." He mumbled into her shoulder and her heart clenched at those words. Those two words both simultaneously made her heart sore and sink, pulling her emotions to either end of the spectrum.

"You're welcome Derek." She replied, pulling back slightly, "Now, do you want to tell me what happened?" She implored, trying to gauge if he wanted to talk about it, leading him into her living room to sit on the sofa.

"She, she was always so outgoing, so outspoken. Got herself into some sticky situations." He laughed. "And big brother came charging in to try and protect her, to protect her like- like- nobody had protected me." He didn't have to say what from, she knew exactly what he meant.

"Derek, honey, you're talking about her like she's dead, she's not. She's still alive sweetness." She said with feeling.

"She might not be by the time I get there." He said morosely as he looked up at her.

"No!" She exclaimed suddenly and he is surprised by her reaction. "This isn't you Morgan, you are not like this. Don't think like that! The doctors know what they're doing, she will come out of this fine and you can all help her get back on her feet in no time."

"But she might not." He said softly.

"Stop it." She scolded, "I know you're scared and I know you're hurting but Hot Stuff this isn't _you_. What's gotten into you? Where's the guy who punched a wall in frustration after I was shot but who knew I was ok? Where's the man who no matter what he's faced with tackles it head on and knows that if you put faith where faith is due and trust the ones who are trained to do their jobs then everything should work out ok?" He shrugged in response. "Where's that man?" She asked again, her voice softer as she placed her hand on top of his and giving it a squeeze.

"My little sister is hurt, my _little sister_ and Sarah's finding it hard to deal with, my mum's breaking down – she always thought it'd be me that she'd be in this situation for. Des is at college, she's just starting out, she never expected this. The cases we've had are getting harder and harder to shut out and I feel like I've been losing myself as I lost my best friend," He chanced a look at her and her heart clenched at the sadness in his eyes. "Just like I just lost the closest thing I've had to a girlfriend in a long time. And all because I couldn't see what _my job_ was doing to her." He looked back down at his hands, not wanting to see the pity that he was sure would have been in her eyes. He should have remembered that she would never pity him.

"You're not losing me, Derek." She said softly, enveloping him in a hug, as part of her screams with delight that he is no longer attached while the rest of her kicks her back to reality with another bump: those two words "best friend", that is what she is and what she will ever be, but she knows that she cannot stand to see him hurting, and if she has to cause herself a little more heart ache to help him then she will do it, every single time without a thought.

"What would I do without you mamma?" He asked softly.

"Have a much less humorous work place?" She teased as she sat back in the couch, watching him look to the ceiling as if collecting his thoughts before he spoke once more:

"I can't lose you from my life, look what you do for me." He said and she saw the tenderness in his eyes. Shaking the hopeful thoughts from her mind she stood up quickly.

"Right Hot Stuff, time for us to get going if you're going to get on that flight." She said, smiling down at him with a somewhat forced grin. He nodded in reply, following behind her as she grabbed her purse, keys and coat, heading down to the car as she locked up.

Before heading down to the car she took a moment to take a breath, to take in what had happened, to process it as much as she could in a few seconds as her mind whizzed through many emotions that were fogging her brain: love to sorrow; worry to hope. But she grabbed that last one in her new found resolve and tucked it away in the furthest corner of her heart, not allowing herself to think about it. It wouldn't do to dwell on something that would only lead her to pain.

---

They made it to the airport with her resolve intact and her new outlook firmly in place, even as she squeezed his hand one last time in reassurance, meeting his eyes as if telling him it'd be ok, and he drew strength from her simple act of being there.

"Tell them I'm thinking of them." Was all she said as he turned to leave and he gave a stiff nod in response before turning and whispering a small word of thanks to her.

She watched him as he walked into the terminal and she lost him in the sea of people, her whole body relaxing on a sigh. She had made it through that without her new outlook slipping, now she just had to make sure she could keep it in place when he came back, and hopefully with the good news that Desiree would indeed be fine.

_**This story was intended to be all about Garcia...and look where my muse took me...Morgan-whump...I think I may be addicted ;P **_

_**And it seems there will be a part 4...but this time I swear it'll be the last part!!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Part 4...And now we have the final part! =)**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds**_

Morgan had phoned Hotch once he landed and reached the hospital, finding out that Des was critical but she was fighting so it was looking up. He had been about to ask for time off when he was cut off:

"Garcia already phoned, you have the week off." He said with a softer edge to his voice before continuing: "Although it will be taken out of your annual leave, despite the circumstances. How is she?" He asked, his professional capacity not stopping him from asking about his friend's sister.

"She's....hanging in there." He exhaled on a breath.

"Good. You know we are all wishing for the best." He said, knowing his words were nothing but platitudes.

"I think we need more than just that...a miracle would be good right about now." Morgan whispered before realising that this was Hotch, his boss, not the one who needed to hear this, nobody did. It was his problem. He cleared his throat before saying his goodbyes and hanging up, his head falling back against the wall as he groaned in slight frustration.

Flipping his phone back open he hit speed dial and before he knew it Garcia answered the call.

"What's wrong Morgan?" She asked suddenly, greetings skipped over in worry.

"I just wondered how you were mamma." He said with a sigh.

"Derek, you know you can just phone if you need to talk, I don't mind, I especially don't mind considering where you are." She said softly. "How is she?" She asked after there was a pause in which she could only hear him breathing.

"Thanks Pen." He said softly. "She's hanging in there. She's a fighter."

"Just like her brother." She replied with strength to her voice that he found himself in awe of.

"Just like you." He replied even softer than before.

"Well, I had some great people around me to help me, and so does she." She replied. Trying not to let his mind dwell on her shooting or other situations with the team, she tried to steer back to him. "How's your mum?"

He laughed softly. "Falling apart. It's her baby in there with all those wires and all those machines and I can't do anything to help her." She could hear the frustration in his voice and knew that he was beginning to fall into that dark place. She wanted nothing more than to be there, helping to cling to the edges and clamber out of the darkness that was threatening to swallow him no matter how much it would hurt to see him so broken.

"Hot Stuff, you listen to me and you listen good." She said with the usual 'Garcia' edge to her tone when she meant business. "You are there, that's what she needs. You being there just sitting with her, holding her hand, being the one she can lean on, all that may seem like nothing to you but I can assure you that she is thanking you for it. She has her son, her big strong man of a son as well as her eldest daughter there, both as comfort and as support. You _are _helping her. But sweetness, you are not immune to breaking down, if you need someone; they will just as easily be there for you. Please don't bottle this up. But you know we are all wishing she gets better soon, all hoping that she gets out of the woods." She paused before continuing. "I know that they are only words and words are not going to make any difference in this situation, but I can only pray that they do, and you know we are all here for you and your family." She said, her voice full of sincerity and Derek smiled at her words, at her kindness.

"Thank you." He whispered softly. "I appreciate it. Thanks for the talk Baby Girl." He said, before they said goodbye and he shut his phone with a snap before getting up and heading back into the hospital, ready to do what little he could to help his mum, to help his family.

He walked into the room and was once again stunned at the sheer number of wires and tubes that were sustaining his baby sister. Seeing his mum cradle her hand in her own as she fingered the silver cross pendant he knew what she was doing, he had been doing the very same thing. He sat down next to his mum and placed his hand on top of her and Desiree's, squeezing gently. His mum smiled a watery smile at him and he knew Garcia was right. He may only be there but he was helping in being there.

---

It was 3am six days later when Garcia was awakened by the ringing of her phone. Immediately expecting the worse she grabbed for the phone.

"Morgan, what's wrong? What happened?" She demanded, her voice still somewhat groggy.

"Oh crap! You were sleeping, sorry, sorry, I didn't think, I-"

"Derek, it's 3am, of course I was sleeping." She laughed slightly. "What's going on?" She asked, cutting across him.

"She woke up." He said, his voice telling her just how over the moon he was and she knew he would have one of those heartbreakingly delicious 'Derek Morgan' grins on his face and she felt her heart constrict at the thought of just how cute he would look, and just how much she wanted to be the one to make him that happy. She shook her head, burying that rogue thought deep, deep in her heart and vowing never to let it reappear, it would only hurt her. The problem was she'd had a lot more of these rogue thoughts since he'd been phoning her with updates, or just to have someone listen to his worries, not wanting to burden his mum with more than she already had. She knew she loved the man, but this was making it harder and harder to bury. She knew her resolve and her new outlook would come crashing down when she saw him, one hug from him and she knew it would be gone, and it worried her. Really worried her. Now was not the time for this; there wasn't a time for this. It was then that she was drawn back to the conversation as she heard his laughter on the line.

"I'm just so glad that she's going to be ok. I can't quite believe it yet, but I am so relieved." He finished on a breath.

"I am so glad Derek, tell her we are wishing her well soon Hot Stuff. And _you, _Derek Morgan, go home, and get some sleep. If I learned anything from being shot it's that right now you will look like crap and need a great deal of sleep caught up on."

He laughed and replied: "Baby Girl, you wound my ego so." He joked before his voice became serious once more. "Thank you. I will sleep later, right now I need to see my little sister awake and breathing and take it all in. Thank you for all of this."

"Nothing to thank me for Handsome, nothing at all." She said seriously. "Ciao. See you Monday Profiler Man." She said before disconnecting.

She sighed as the phone disconnected, knowing her new outlook and her resolve would have to be firmly in place come Monday or she would have a heart filled with hope and love all ready and set up to be crushed because he would forever see her as his best friend and nothing more. And she knew she couldn't deal with that heartache again, definitely not. She would break, and this time she didn't think she would be able to pick herself up. Her resolve _had_ to stay in place.

---

As it turned out it was before Monday that her new outlook had to be in place by; there was a familiar knock on her door on Sunday night. She didn't need to look through the spy hole to know that it was going to be Morgan on the other side of the door and she couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips as she opened the door to see his equally smiling face.

"What you doing here, Handsome?" she asked; holding the door open and letting him in before he answered.

"I just wanted to thank you, you really helped this past week and I appreciate it _so_ much Baby Girl." He said with sincerity.

"No thanks necessary Morgan, it's what friends do." She replied with a smile as they headed into her lounge and grabbed a seat on the couch.

"But you, Baby Girl," He said, putting his hand on hers. "You do above and beyond what anyone else would do. What have I done to deserve you in my life?" He asked softly, looking at her with those gorgeous eyes of his. She could feel that seed of hope trying to grow once more and she squashed it with an iron fist and a small laugh escaped her lips as she replied.

"Flatterer." She laughed.

"Pen, I am serious, you are the sweetest, most caring and most wonderfully crazy woman I have ever met." He said with a soft chuckle and a warm smile as he looked at her watching him with a curious expression on his face as if trying to figure him out. "I am not just saying any of this to make you smile or to thank you, I truly mean it."

Upon hearing his words her heart ballooned once more, the hope she had been crushing down flourishing and causing it to race as his words.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is - no! I _know_ what I'm trying to say is that you are the one I want to come home to, the one I want to see every night before I go to sleep, the one I want to have those wonderfully stupid arguments with about who's turn it was to buy milk, or who's turn it was to take out the garbage." He chanced another smile and when he saw the sparkle behind her eyes – despite her still somewhat shocked expression – he continued: "I want to _be_ with you." He said softly and he saw the smile break out across her face as she realised he was in fact giving her a reason to hope, more than a reason in fact, he was surpassing the hope and going straight to her dreams, her wishes and saying the words that she had never thought she would hear. On impulse she kissed him, relishing in the feeling of finally being able to do the one thing (well, the first step that leads to many other things) that she had wanted more than anything.

She pulled away after a minute and looked at him with a massive grin that was matched by his and she spoke with a voice that was as sweet as it was sinful: "You don't know how long I've wanted you to say that."

"About as long as I've wanted to say it, I'd guess." He replied with a smirk before he cupped his hand behind her neck, his thumb caressing her jaw as their eyes traced the others' face in fascination, as if trying to memorise every detail, both trying to comprehend that this was finally happening, before their lips met in another kiss, this time with a little more force behind it.

Once again she pulled away marginally, their breaths mingling as she spoke softly: "I wanna be that person, I wanna be all those things." Before she kissed him again.

Even though her new outlook, her new resolve had dissolved when her ears heard the words he had spoken and her mind propelled her to kiss him, she knew it was right. The new outlook had protected her wholeheartedly and she knew that, like with most things, only time would tell if this was the right thing she was doing. But with Derek Morgan wrapped around her she liked _this_ new outlook on life a whole lot better now.

_**Thanks very much for the feedback =) **_

_**And thanks to klcm for kicking the muse into shape, encouraging me on when I couldn't get anywhere and for the help! **__**=))**_


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